The Lone Warrior
an unmade audio story
PART ONE
PART TWO
PART THREE
Part Four
1.Recapping from part 3The Doctor is bursting into Tess’s room.
DOCTORTess ? Are you in there ?
He throws the door open.
MRS POTTERYou can’t charge into a young lady’s room without so much as a ...
DOCTORMrs Potter - be quiet.
TESS(Yawning and waking)What’s all this noise about ? Doctor, you don’t half look different.
DOCTORI thought... never mind. As long as you’re all right.
ABBERLINEDoctor...
DOCTORWhat is it ?
ABBERLINETess’s clothes.
DOCTORWhat about them ?
ABBERLINESee for yourself. They’re covered in blood.
Material being moved.
ABBERLINEAnd a hood. It’s her. She’s the Ripper.
DOCTORArrant nonsense. Isn’t it, Tess ?
TESSDoctor, what’s he talking about ?
ABBERLINE The Doctor and me saw Varsh and The Ripper. We followed the Ripper and saw him run in here. He was wearing clothes like these - and these are covered with blood.
MRS POTTER The Ripper ? In my house ? I’m fetching the police.
DOCTOR You’ll do no such thing. Fred, so you really believe Tess is a murderer ? Really ? How likely is that ?
ABBERLINE Any less likely than what we found six years ago ?
DOCTOR What possible reason would Tess have for killing these women ?
ABBERLINE Something to do with me ? I let her dad go after he killed her mum. Maybe that pushed her over the edge.
DOCTOR Drivel. This is ludicrous. I’ll prove it to you.
Sound of bedclothes being thrown back. Tess yelps.
TESS Here. What do you think you’re doing ? What if I hadn’t been wearing a nightie ?
DOCTOR Tess - shush. Feel the bed. Go on, Fred.
ABBERLINE It’s warm.
DOCTOR So obviously Tess has been in bed for quite some time. Just over an hour, I’d estimate.
TESS That’s right. Now do you mind ?
Bedclothes pulled back into place.
ABBERLINE So how did the Ripper’s gear get in here ?DOCTOR Tess, did you hear anything before we arrived ?
TESS No. I’m a heavy sleeper.
DOCTOR Somebody put the clothes in here to throw us off the scent. Somebody trying to set us off our guard. Did you see anyone when you came in, Tess ?
TESS No. But I was a bit upset so I came in through the kitchens at the back.
ABBERLINE Looks like I owe you an apology, miss. Probably two of them. I was wrong about you.
DOCTOR And I rather think we’ve all been wrong about someone else nearby, haven’t we, Mrs Potter ? Or whatever your real name is.
MRS POTTER What do you mean ? I’m a respectable woman.
DOCTOR Spare us the performance. You told the Inspector and myself that you had been in the kitchen for hours, yet when Tess came in through the kitchens, there was no sign of you. And when you found me downstairs early this morning, you weren’t just getting up - you were just getting in, from committing another murder. You’re a Jopar Assassin and you’ve been using us. Always hanging about and letting us do the donkey work so that you could keep track of Varsh. No denial ? I would guess that if we hoisted those skirts of yours an inch or two we’d find your shoes are wet from the ground outside.
ABBERLINE Mrs Potter ?
Mrs Potter changes. The snooty, prim, pain-in-the-bum landlady is gone. In her place is a hard, no nonsense killer.
MRS POTTER Very clever, Doctor. The girl was the only one of the guests here of a similar size to me.
TESS Cheek. I’m nothing like as fat as you.
DOCTOR Quiet, Tess. Pity she used the kitchen.
MRS POTTER No plan is perfect. And I always have a back-up.
ABBERLINE I take it that’s a gun.DOCTOR It fires phased particle beams. Very nasty. The kind of thing you’d expect from her sort.
MRS POTTER With that supercilious attitude, you and Varsh must hit it off like old friends.
DOCTOR I can’t let you kill Varsh, you know, and I certainly won’t allow you to continue murdering innocent women.
MRS POTTER (Highly amused)You seem to forget who has the weapon, Doctor. And as for those women being innocent, they were street refuse, scrabbling in the dirt for an existence. Putting them out of their misery was a kindness.
DOCTOR Who gave you the right to stand in judgement over them ? You’re a petty killer. A paid murderer with no cause of your own, nothing to believe in, you take money to take lives. You disgust me and I will put a stop to you.
MRS POTTER You actually believe you can. I’d batter take out a little insurance. You girl. Get up.
TESS No chance.
MRS POTTER Do it, or I’ll turn every cell in your body inside out. Doctor, tell her I mean it.
DOCTOR Do as she says, Tess.
TESS But...
DOCTOR Don’t argue ! You’ll be safe - she needs you as a hostage in case anything goes wrong.
MRS POTTER I may even let you go once Varsh is dead.
DOCTOR If she is hurt there won’t be anywhere in the galaxy for you to hide. I will hunt you down and bring you to justice no matter how long it takes.
MRS POTTER Big words. You’re obviously not from this planet yourself. I wonder if there’s a bounty on your head ?
DOCTOR More than likely.
MRS POTTER Pity I only take one job at a time. Come on, girl.
TESS Doctor...
DOCTOR You’ll be all right. I promise.
MRS POTTER If you follow, well, you know what will happen.
Door closes. Key turns in the lock. Abberline rattles the door.
ABBERLINE Locked.
DOCTOR So I hear. Do you feel up to kicking that door down ?
ABBERLINE No.
DOCTOR We’ll have to nip out of the window and shin down a drainpipe.
ABBERLINE Tell you what - we’ll kick the door in.
Door gets a boot.
2.Hotel.Tess is being dragged through the hotel.
TESS Let go of me. You’re a loonie. Let go.
MRS POTTER I’d be mad to let my insurance go.
Door opens and a yawning patron peers out.
GUEST (Slurred, half asleep)What’s the shouting about ?
MRS POTTER Get inside before I gut you like the animal you are.
Door slams.
TESS You really are the Ripper.
MRS POTTER Remember that if you ever think of trying to escape.
Drags Tess out of the front door.
TESS Let go. Let me go.
3.Tess’s room.Sound of feet and shoulders hitting the door.
ABBERLINE I’ll say this, the English know how to make solid doors.DOCTOR Save your nationalistic pride until after we’ve broken out.
ABBERLINE It could take a while.
DOCTOR It’s this or the window.
Shoulders thud into the door.
4.The Fair.Stedgewick and Cassidy are watching the Fair being packed away. The basic sounds of dismantling.
STEDGEWICK I’ll be sorry to leave here, Cassidy. We made a lot of cash.
Cassidy grunts.
STEDGEWICK (Laughing)Oh, I’ll be sorry to lose old Varsh as well. He was a gold-mine. But with all this cash he’s appropriated for us, we’ll be able to hire the best in America. Maybe we’ll even go legit.
Cassidy laughs.
STEDGEWICK I should go on the stage with jokes like that. Still and all, I’ll be happier when Varsh is safely locked up.
Grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK You’re right. On the end of a rope will be even better. If they can find a rope big enough to go round that bull neck of his. First up, let’s have a butcher’s in this ship of his.
Nervous grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK Sometimes I do wish you could speak, Cass. Don’t worry. He ain’t coming back here.
Slightly comforted grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK And if he did come back, the lads are all waiting for him - so are the filth. He won’t get near us. Now how does this open ? Give me a hand.
5.London.Mrs Potter is dragging Tess along.
MRS POTTER Stop dragging your heels, girl.
TESS I’m freezing. I’ve only got a nightie on.
MRS POTTER And stop complaining - or I’ll open you here and now.
TESS Where are we going anyway ?
MRS POTTER Varsh is bound to try to get back to his ship. We’ll be waiting for him. Now keep quiet.
6.Tess’s Room.The door finally splinters off its hinges. The Doctor and Abberline hit the floor with grunts and complaints.
DOCTOR At last ! Stop lazing about, Fred, there’s not much time.
ABBERLINE It’s all right for you - you didn’t have you landing on top of you.
DOCTOR What was that ?
ABBERLINE Nothing. Coming.
DOCTOR Excellent. I’ve been thinking.
ABBERLINE Wonders will never cease.
DOCTOR Sarcasm doesn’t become you, Fred. No, I’ve been wondering how Varsh has been able to move about - and where he’s likely to have gone.
ABBERLINE Back to the Fair.
DOCTOR Eventually, but it’ll be swarming with your boys in blue. He’ll have to have gone somewhere else. Somewhere he feels safe.
ABBERLINE And you know where that is, I suppose.
DOCTOR A labyrinth of tunnels under the city, barely used by anyone. In fact, most people avoid them like the very plague.
ABBERLINE The sewers.
DOCTOR Exactly.
7.London; by the Fair.Tess is still being dragged along by Mrs Potter. Her feet squelch in the mud.
TESS The Fair’s crawling with coppers. You’ll never get near Varsh’s tent.
MRS POTTER Don’t be stupid. They’re looking for Varsh, not a weak, middle-aged woman. One of the few good things about this miserable, backward planet is that I’ve been able to go out at night and no-one has even considered that a woman could be capable of these killings.
TESS You’re sick.
MRS POTTER Watch your mouth - and don’t try warning the police, or I’ll cut the tongue from your mouth.
8.Varsh’s ship. Ext.Stedgewick and Cassidy are still having trouble getting in.
STEDGEWICK I dunno how to open the thing, Cass.
Relieved grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK Don’t be so yellow. He’s been busy, has Varsh. He’s been repairing this thing. There. He’s covered the hole in the outside of it. This panel thing by the door’s how we open it.
Grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK I dunno how exactly. Must be an order you push the buttons in or something. A code. Except I don’t recognise the lingo.
MRS POTTER Of course you don’t. It’s Guilerian script.
STEDGEWICK Is it, indeed ? And who might you be ?
MRS POTTER Someone who wants inside that ship as much as you do.
TESS She’s the Ripper.
STEDGEWICK (Laughing)Oh yeah ?
TESS I’m telling you. Get the police. She’s the Ripper.
STEDGEWICK From the nut-house, is she ?
MRS POTTER Actually, she’s correct.
STEDGEWICK You’re not joking are you ?MRS POTTER I don’t like jokes. And from all I’ve heard, you’re not likely to fetch the police. They may take an interest in your own criminal activities.
STEDGEWICK I dunno what you’re talking about.
MRS POTTER Yes you do. Abberline and the Doctor know you are responsible for the bank robberies. I offer you a trade.
TESS Don’‘t listen to her. She’s a murderer.
STEDGEWICK So am I, so shut up, girl. Go on.
MRS POTTER You can have this ship and whatever is in it.
STEDGEWICK I like it so far. What do you get ?
MRS POTTER Varsh. He will have to come back here. When he does, I will kill him, then you get the ship.
STEDGEWICK You’re going to fight Varsh ?
MRS POTTER I’m going to kill him.
STEDGEWICK You’ve got a deal. Now this I must see. I could sell tickets for this. Can you prove any of what you’ve said ?
The sound of buttons on a keypad being pressed. The door opens.
MRS POTTER Proof enough ?
STEDGEWICK A pleasure doing business with you. In we go, Cass.
9.Sewer tunnels.The Doctor and Abberline are trudging through the sewer tunnels, their footsteps echoing.
ABBERLINE Are you sure Varsh will be down here, Doctor ?
DOCTOR It’s the way I’d move around London if I didn’t want to be seen.
ABBERLINE Right. And let me get this straight. Varsh is a knight who’s being chased by Mrs Potter who isn’t really a bad-tempered old bag landlady but an assassin from outer space.
DOCTOR In basic terms, yes.
ABBERLINE I’ll say this for you, Doctor. It’s never dull when you’re around.
DOCTOR I’ll try to take that as a compliment.(Thoughtful)This way, I think.
They plod on a few seconds.
DOCTOR Ah ! Here we are. Varsh should be around here somewhere. Probably in the shadows over there watching us now. Hello ? It’s me again.
When Varsh speaks, the Doctor gives a start.
VARSH You are a clever man, Doctor. I am pleased that we are not enemies.
DOCTOR All right. You were in the shadows over here watching us - and please never creep up on me like that again. You nearly frightened me out of a couple of regenerations.
VARSH How did you know I would be here ?
DOCTOR An educated guess. You’re waiting for a chance to get back to your ship ? I didn’t think it was spaceworthy.VARSH It should fly far enough for me to find somewhere quiet to set down and complete my repairs.
DOCTOR I could give you a hand with that. I’m known for being nifty with a spanner.
VARSH This is not your concern, Doctor.
DOCTOR I’m afraid it is. Your friendly assassin has taken a young friend of mine hostage.
VARSH A girl ? In a white nightdress ? Struggling with an older woman.
DOCTOR You’ve seen them.
VARSH They are in my ship now with Stedgewick and Cassidy.
DOCTOR That complicates things.
VARSH No. It makes my task simpler.
DOCTOR You’re going to do something stupid, I can tell.
VARSH I must face my enemy in honourable combat.DOCTOR I knew it. Stupid. Honour indeed ! She doesn’t know the meaning of the word. We’ll have to think of something else.
VARSH There is nothing else ! My honour is all that I am and all that I live for. I will not abandon it now.
Varsh lumbers off.
DOCTOR Idiot. He’s going to get himself killed.
ABBERLINE Stop him, then.
DOCTOR You try it. You’d have more luck trying to stop a charging elephant. The best you can do is clear the area and let them get on with it.
ABBERLINE What’ll you be doing ?
DOCTOR I’ll think of something.
10.Fair.Abberline runs through the mud to George Godley, a policeman.
ABBERLINE George, I’m glad it’s you.GODLEY What is it, guv ?
ABBERLINE Get everybody away from the Fair. Put up a cordon round the perimeter. There’s going to be foreworks so don’t let anybody in - and don’t let anybody from that big caravan-thing leave either.
GODLEY But...
ABBERLINE George, you asked for my help. I’ll giving it you. You were my sergeant for years. Just trust me. I’ll explain later.
GODLEY All right, Fred. Only because it’s you.
ABBERLINE Good lad, George.
11.The Fair.The sounds of people moving quickly - and with a good degree of fear. Varsh moves heavily through the mud.
VARSH Jopar ! Jopar ! I accept your challenge.
12.Varsh’s ship.Varsh’s voice can be heard over the computer’s systems - a bit tinny.VARSH (on computer) JOPAR !
STEDGEWICK Sounds like Varsh would like a word.
TESS He’ll tear you apart.
MRS POTTER You are as feeble-minded as Varsh. I don’t intend to fight him on equal terms.
The obvious click of a gun of some sort.
STEDGEWICK That some kind of gun ?
MRS POTTER Varsh will recognise it - I took it from one of his people - after I’d cut him open.
STEDGEWICK We’ll just wait here, will we ?
MRS POTTER Hold the girl.
STEDGEWICK That’ll be a pleasure.
A loud slap.
TESS Keep your hands to yourself.
The door opens.
MRS POTTER At last. Face to face.
VARSH For the honour of my Order I challenge you to honourable combat.
MRS POTTER Absurd idea.
TESS She’s got a gun.
There’s a scramble. Mrs Potter grunts as Tess breaks free and slams into her. The gun goes off - definitely a laser weapon of some sort - and Varsh yells in pain.
MRS POTTER I told you to hold the girl.
Tess yelps as she is grabbed by Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK Forget her. You only winged Varsh.
Varsh yells - he’s loud and he’s angry.
STEDGEWICK And he’s not best pleased. Shoot him again.
MRS POTTER I dropped the gun. There it is.
A squelch in the mud.
DOCTOR Didn’t your mother ever warn you about playing with guns ? No, I suppose not.
MRS POTTER Move your foot off the gun.
DOCTOR I was hoping to talk to you about my bill. Given that I didn’t actually sleep in my room or take breakfast I was wondering if there was any chance off a discount ? And by the way, no, you can’t have the gun. I don’t like them. Never have.
MRS POTTER Idiot !
DOCTOR No refund then.
Varsh roars loudly and grabs Mrs Potter. They scuffle and fight.
DOCTOR I’ll leave you to get better acquainted with Varsh. You’ve been looking forward to meeting him for a while.The Doctor strides through the mud to Varsh’s ship.
DOCTOR Now I suggest that you two scoundrels come out of there and let the young lady go.
STEDGEWICK Get lost.
DOCTOR The Fair is completely surrounded and the police know you were responsible for the robberies. They’re not going to let you go.
STEDGEWICK They will when they realise Cassidy’ll snap the girl’s neck if they get in my way.
Tess is obviously being choked by an arm across her throat as Stedgewick, Cassidy and Tess emerge from the ship.
DOCTOR Let her go.
STEDGEWICK Not on your life.
DOCTOR How far do you think you’ll get ?
STEDGEWICK I’ve got all the money from the robberies in a money-belt round my waist. I reckon it’ll be enough to see me clear of dear old England and off to a safe new life.DOCTOR At the moment, you’ll only be convicted for robbery. If you harm her, you’ll hang for sure.
STEDGEWICK Only if they catch me.
DOCTOR Interesting that you only ever talk about yourself. Sounds to me like you’re already planning to ditch your colleague there. Doesn’t is sound that way to you, Tess ?
TESS (Choking)Yes.
STEDGEWICK Don’t you listen to him, Cassidy. I’ll see you all right.
DOCTOR He’ll see you on the end of a rope. What’s wrong, Cassidy. Cat got your tongue ?
Cassidy grunts - he obviously doesn’t like bad-taste jokes if they’re at his expense.
DOCTOR Come on, Cassidy. Use your brain, man. You’ll be a liability to him when he’s on the run. All the police have to do is put out a notice to look for two men, one of them a mute. He knows that. So do you.
Cassidy grunts uncertainly.
DOCTOR Of course, neither of you knows that former Inspector Abberline has crept up behind Cassidy while I’ve kept you talking.
STEDGEWICK What ?
Cassidy grunts in surprise - and then yelps in pain as Abberline hits him.
ABBERLINE You all right, Miss ?
TESS Fine, thanks.
She kicks Cassidy then yelps in pain herself.
TESS Rotten swine. Remind me never to kick anybody when I don’t have no shoes on.
DOCTOR Stedgewick’s making a run for it. Are the police in place ?
ABBERLINE He won’t get away.
Stedgewick is running through the mud. He comes to a halt as a copper impedes his way.
COPPER 1 Sorry, sir. You can’t pass here.STEDGEWICK Damn them.
He runs again. His feet squelch in the mud. He stops as a dog barks.
GODLEY Stop there, you.
STEDGEWICK Dammit !
He runs back.
13.The Fair.The fight between Varsh and Mrs Potter is ongoing.
TESS Varsh is fighting with one hand, Doctor. Can’t we help him ?
DOCTOR He’d never live down the dishonour, Tess.
ABBERLINE There’s Stedgewick.
DOCTOR It looks like your chaps are doing a sterling job of keeping him here. Excuse me a moment, would you ?
TESS Doctor ! Where are you...? Is he always this annoying ?ABBERLINE Most of the time.
14.Fun Fair.Stedgewick is running - and he’s getting tired. He stops as a police whistle sounds in front of him.
STEDGEWICK They’re not taking me in. They’re not doing that. Not to me.
He runs again. We hear the grappling of Varsh and Mrs Potter in the background. And then Stedgewick pulls at the metal door of Varsh’s ship and hurries up the steps.
15.Fair.Tess and Abberline have observed Stedgewick run into Varsh’s ship.
TESS He’s gone into Varsh’s ship.
ABBERLINE I know.
TESS But the Doctor went in there.
There a yell from Stedgewick as the door clatters open and he sails out to land in the mud.
DOCTOR We’ll add breaking and entering to your list of crimes, shall we ? And probably the murder of a policeman.
Now we turn concentration to the fight. Varsh is expending a great deal of energy defending himself. Mrs Potter is swishing knifes through the air at him.
MRS POTTER Give up, Varsh. Die with a little dignity. I’ll make it quick. You won’t feel a thing.
VARSH I will give up when I see you dead.
The blades swish again.
MRS POTTER You only have one working arm, I’ve cut you half a dozen times. How can you expect to win ?
VARSH The weak will be protected, the poor fed, the defenceless defended. Righteousness is my shield.
MRS POTTER Your order’s creed won’t protect you.
VARSH No. All that will protect me...
A charge. He rushes at Mrs Potter and she yells as he thumps into her and carries her backwards like she’s a tackle-dummy.
VARSH ...is killing you.
They thump into the metal wall of Varsh’s spaceship. Mrs Potter cries out. She’s had the worst of it. Stedgewick moans.
VARSH Stand up. Face death on your feet.
STEDGEWICK Help me.
A blade is drawn.
MRS POTTER Get back, Varsh. I’m taking your ship. Get back or I’ll open his throat to the bone.
STEDGEWICK No. We had an arrangement.
VARSH He is as worthless as you. Kill him if you wish.
DOCTOR No, Varsh. You can’t dismiss a life so easily. No matter what you think of Stedgewick, he’s still a living being. You don’t have the right to let him die simply because it suits you. Trust me, Varsh. Let them go. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t. On my honour you will.
VARSH On your honour. Very well.MRS POTTER A wise move, Doctor.
DOCTOR As for you, I’d suggest that you both give yourselves up to the police right this minute.
MRS POTTER You’re as naive as Varsh is. I’ll be back for him - with as many of my colleagues as I can muster.
DOCTOR You’ll be sorry.
MRS POTTER Just admit you’ve lost, Doctor. You, into the ship.
STEDGEWICK You’re taking me with you ?
DOCTOR Don’t do it, Stedgewick. Prison will be better than anything she has to offer.
STEDGEWICK I don’t think so, Doctor. From all I’ve seen, there’ll be plenty of opportunities out there for a man of my talents.
DOCTOR On your own head be it.
The door closes.
TESS You’re letting them go ?
DOCTOR I gave them the chance to surrender to the police. And I don’t have the authority to arrest them.
Ship’s engines start up.
VARSH The fool has engaged the main engines.
TESS So ?
VARSH There is a leak in the power unit. Only the maneuvering thrusters can be used safely.
DOCTOR Really ? Is that why the lights on the engine’s control panel were flashing ? They were giving me a headache so I switched them off.
ABBERLINE What does that mean ?
DOCTOR I’d say it means we have around twenty seconds to get away from here before that ship blows up.
TESS What are standing around gossiping for ? Run !
They run.
16.Varsh’s spaceship.There a hum of power.
STEDGEWICK Where are we going ?
MRS POTTER We ? I am not taking you anywhere.
STEDGEWICK You have to. There’s worlds out there waiting for someone like me.
MRS POTTER You wouldn’t survive a minute on any of them.
STEDGEWICK You wouldn’t have survived Varsh without me. You needed me to escape him.
MRS POTTER I did, didn’t I ? But since I’ve escaped him.
The swish of a blade being drawn and swung very quickly. Stedgewick gurgles as his throat is cut.
MRS POTTER I have no more use for you.
Stedgewick hits the deck. Dead.
MRS POTTER Primitive ape.
A warning sounds.
MRS POTTER What ? Computer - what’s happening ?
COMPUTER Engine leak reaching overload. Critical is 5 seconds, 4, 3, 2, 1...
17.Fair.The Doctor, Tess, Abberline and Varsh are running.
VARSH My ship is overloading.
DOCTOR It’s going to explode. Down !
They hit the mud and there is an explosion.
DOCTOR You really should be careful of second hand spaceships. They can be most unreliable.
TESS What if Varsh had won and got in his ship-thing ?DOCTOR He already knew the main engines were off. He’d never have even considered using them. Such a waste that it came to this.
Sounds of them getting to their feet.
VARSH You gave them a chance to surrender, Doctor. And they could not have been allowed to go free.
DOCTOR I suppose not. Fred, I imagine your jolly boys in blue will have quite a bit of trouble explaining all this in a report.
ABBERLINE As much as I’ll have explaining that the stolen money was in Stedgewick’s money belt when he got blown up ?
DOCTOR What ? This money belt ?
ABBERLINE Doctor ! You beauty ! How did you get this ?
DOCTOR I relieved Stedgewick of it before ejecting him from Varsh’s ship.
TESS Don’t get me wrong, Doctor. It’s good and fine to know how you did it, but I’m standing here in my nightie covered head to toe in mud. Is there any chance of going somewhere warm before I freeze to death ?
DOCTOR My dear girl. Forgive me. Take my coat. Here. Let’s pop back to the hotel and put the kettle on, shall we ?
18.The hotel.Tea is being poured.
ABBERLINE Thanks, Miss.
TESS Maybe you should call me, Tess. I owe you for saving me from Cassidy.
ABBERLINE Let’s just say we’re quits now, eh ?
TESS Quits it is. By the way, where’d the Doctor go ?
ABBERLINE Dunno. Said he’d be right back, though.
The Tardis materialisation noise.
TESS My good God almighty.ABBERLINE Not quite.
Tardis door opens and the Doctor emerges with Varsh behind him.
DOCTOR Splendid. Back in my own clothes and just in time for a pot of tea. Humanity’s finest contribution to universal culture.
TESS That box...
DOCTOR I’ll explain later. Crumpets as well, eh ?
ABBERLINE I’ve had a word with Godley, Doctor. The reports will say that Stedgewick was the killer and the bank robber. Varsh won’t be mentioned.
VARSH Thank you.
ABBERLINEMainly because nobody wanted to put in a report that he’s an alien.
TESSWhat about Mrs Potter or whoever she was ?
ABBERLINE George did a bit of digging. The real Mrs Potter was found dead two weeks ago. Your assassin took her place. DOCTOR Poor woman.
ABBERLINE They also found a pile of cash in the safe, which Tess here says is yours, Doctor.
DOCTOR Money ? Dreadful stuff. Causes more trouble than it’s worth.
ABBERLINE It’s gonna cause some more. I told George that you’d bought the hotel.
DOCTOR You did what ?
ABBERLINE The woman had no kin. It was that or see the place sold at auction. I persuaded them to leave the money with you and all.
TESS Congratulations, Doctor. You own a hotel.
DOCTOR Congratulations, Tess. You own a hotel.
TESS What ?
DOCTOR What would I do with a hotel ? I can’t fit it in my pocket and I never stay in one place for more than five minutes. TESS But...
DOCTOR You need somewhere to live. You need something to do. Run this place. You’ll make a success of it I’m sure.
TESS I will at that. Thank you, Doctor.
She kisses the Doctor on his cheek and he harrumphs.
DOCTOR Yes, well. Any chance of that cup of tea before I take Varsh home ? It has been a rather trying couple of days.
TESS Coming right up, Doctor. On the house.
Part Four
1.Recapping from part 3The Doctor is bursting into Tess’s room.
DOCTORTess ? Are you in there ?
He throws the door open.
MRS POTTERYou can’t charge into a young lady’s room without so much as a ...
DOCTORMrs Potter - be quiet.
TESS(Yawning and waking)What’s all this noise about ? Doctor, you don’t half look different.
DOCTORI thought... never mind. As long as you’re all right.
ABBERLINEDoctor...
DOCTORWhat is it ?
ABBERLINETess’s clothes.
DOCTORWhat about them ?
ABBERLINESee for yourself. They’re covered in blood.
Material being moved.
ABBERLINEAnd a hood. It’s her. She’s the Ripper.
DOCTORArrant nonsense. Isn’t it, Tess ?
TESSDoctor, what’s he talking about ?
ABBERLINE The Doctor and me saw Varsh and The Ripper. We followed the Ripper and saw him run in here. He was wearing clothes like these - and these are covered with blood.
MRS POTTER The Ripper ? In my house ? I’m fetching the police.
DOCTOR You’ll do no such thing. Fred, so you really believe Tess is a murderer ? Really ? How likely is that ?
ABBERLINE Any less likely than what we found six years ago ?
DOCTOR What possible reason would Tess have for killing these women ?
ABBERLINE Something to do with me ? I let her dad go after he killed her mum. Maybe that pushed her over the edge.
DOCTOR Drivel. This is ludicrous. I’ll prove it to you.
Sound of bedclothes being thrown back. Tess yelps.
TESS Here. What do you think you’re doing ? What if I hadn’t been wearing a nightie ?
DOCTOR Tess - shush. Feel the bed. Go on, Fred.
ABBERLINE It’s warm.
DOCTOR So obviously Tess has been in bed for quite some time. Just over an hour, I’d estimate.
TESS That’s right. Now do you mind ?
Bedclothes pulled back into place.
ABBERLINE So how did the Ripper’s gear get in here ?DOCTOR Tess, did you hear anything before we arrived ?
TESS No. I’m a heavy sleeper.
DOCTOR Somebody put the clothes in here to throw us off the scent. Somebody trying to set us off our guard. Did you see anyone when you came in, Tess ?
TESS No. But I was a bit upset so I came in through the kitchens at the back.
ABBERLINE Looks like I owe you an apology, miss. Probably two of them. I was wrong about you.
DOCTOR And I rather think we’ve all been wrong about someone else nearby, haven’t we, Mrs Potter ? Or whatever your real name is.
MRS POTTER What do you mean ? I’m a respectable woman.
DOCTOR Spare us the performance. You told the Inspector and myself that you had been in the kitchen for hours, yet when Tess came in through the kitchens, there was no sign of you. And when you found me downstairs early this morning, you weren’t just getting up - you were just getting in, from committing another murder. You’re a Jopar Assassin and you’ve been using us. Always hanging about and letting us do the donkey work so that you could keep track of Varsh. No denial ? I would guess that if we hoisted those skirts of yours an inch or two we’d find your shoes are wet from the ground outside.
ABBERLINE Mrs Potter ?
Mrs Potter changes. The snooty, prim, pain-in-the-bum landlady is gone. In her place is a hard, no nonsense killer.
MRS POTTER Very clever, Doctor. The girl was the only one of the guests here of a similar size to me.
TESS Cheek. I’m nothing like as fat as you.
DOCTOR Quiet, Tess. Pity she used the kitchen.
MRS POTTER No plan is perfect. And I always have a back-up.
ABBERLINE I take it that’s a gun.DOCTOR It fires phased particle beams. Very nasty. The kind of thing you’d expect from her sort.
MRS POTTER With that supercilious attitude, you and Varsh must hit it off like old friends.
DOCTOR I can’t let you kill Varsh, you know, and I certainly won’t allow you to continue murdering innocent women.
MRS POTTER (Highly amused)You seem to forget who has the weapon, Doctor. And as for those women being innocent, they were street refuse, scrabbling in the dirt for an existence. Putting them out of their misery was a kindness.
DOCTOR Who gave you the right to stand in judgement over them ? You’re a petty killer. A paid murderer with no cause of your own, nothing to believe in, you take money to take lives. You disgust me and I will put a stop to you.
MRS POTTER You actually believe you can. I’d batter take out a little insurance. You girl. Get up.
TESS No chance.
MRS POTTER Do it, or I’ll turn every cell in your body inside out. Doctor, tell her I mean it.
DOCTOR Do as she says, Tess.
TESS But...
DOCTOR Don’t argue ! You’ll be safe - she needs you as a hostage in case anything goes wrong.
MRS POTTER I may even let you go once Varsh is dead.
DOCTOR If she is hurt there won’t be anywhere in the galaxy for you to hide. I will hunt you down and bring you to justice no matter how long it takes.
MRS POTTER Big words. You’re obviously not from this planet yourself. I wonder if there’s a bounty on your head ?
DOCTOR More than likely.
MRS POTTER Pity I only take one job at a time. Come on, girl.
TESS Doctor...
DOCTOR You’ll be all right. I promise.
MRS POTTER If you follow, well, you know what will happen.
Door closes. Key turns in the lock. Abberline rattles the door.
ABBERLINE Locked.
DOCTOR So I hear. Do you feel up to kicking that door down ?
ABBERLINE No.
DOCTOR We’ll have to nip out of the window and shin down a drainpipe.
ABBERLINE Tell you what - we’ll kick the door in.
Door gets a boot.
2.Hotel.Tess is being dragged through the hotel.
TESS Let go of me. You’re a loonie. Let go.
MRS POTTER I’d be mad to let my insurance go.
Door opens and a yawning patron peers out.
GUEST (Slurred, half asleep)What’s the shouting about ?
MRS POTTER Get inside before I gut you like the animal you are.
Door slams.
TESS You really are the Ripper.
MRS POTTER Remember that if you ever think of trying to escape.
Drags Tess out of the front door.
TESS Let go. Let me go.
3.Tess’s room.Sound of feet and shoulders hitting the door.
ABBERLINE I’ll say this, the English know how to make solid doors.DOCTOR Save your nationalistic pride until after we’ve broken out.
ABBERLINE It could take a while.
DOCTOR It’s this or the window.
Shoulders thud into the door.
4.The Fair.Stedgewick and Cassidy are watching the Fair being packed away. The basic sounds of dismantling.
STEDGEWICK I’ll be sorry to leave here, Cassidy. We made a lot of cash.
Cassidy grunts.
STEDGEWICK (Laughing)Oh, I’ll be sorry to lose old Varsh as well. He was a gold-mine. But with all this cash he’s appropriated for us, we’ll be able to hire the best in America. Maybe we’ll even go legit.
Cassidy laughs.
STEDGEWICK I should go on the stage with jokes like that. Still and all, I’ll be happier when Varsh is safely locked up.
Grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK You’re right. On the end of a rope will be even better. If they can find a rope big enough to go round that bull neck of his. First up, let’s have a butcher’s in this ship of his.
Nervous grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK Sometimes I do wish you could speak, Cass. Don’t worry. He ain’t coming back here.
Slightly comforted grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK And if he did come back, the lads are all waiting for him - so are the filth. He won’t get near us. Now how does this open ? Give me a hand.
5.London.Mrs Potter is dragging Tess along.
MRS POTTER Stop dragging your heels, girl.
TESS I’m freezing. I’ve only got a nightie on.
MRS POTTER And stop complaining - or I’ll open you here and now.
TESS Where are we going anyway ?
MRS POTTER Varsh is bound to try to get back to his ship. We’ll be waiting for him. Now keep quiet.
6.Tess’s Room.The door finally splinters off its hinges. The Doctor and Abberline hit the floor with grunts and complaints.
DOCTOR At last ! Stop lazing about, Fred, there’s not much time.
ABBERLINE It’s all right for you - you didn’t have you landing on top of you.
DOCTOR What was that ?
ABBERLINE Nothing. Coming.
DOCTOR Excellent. I’ve been thinking.
ABBERLINE Wonders will never cease.
DOCTOR Sarcasm doesn’t become you, Fred. No, I’ve been wondering how Varsh has been able to move about - and where he’s likely to have gone.
ABBERLINE Back to the Fair.
DOCTOR Eventually, but it’ll be swarming with your boys in blue. He’ll have to have gone somewhere else. Somewhere he feels safe.
ABBERLINE And you know where that is, I suppose.
DOCTOR A labyrinth of tunnels under the city, barely used by anyone. In fact, most people avoid them like the very plague.
ABBERLINE The sewers.
DOCTOR Exactly.
7.London; by the Fair.Tess is still being dragged along by Mrs Potter. Her feet squelch in the mud.
TESS The Fair’s crawling with coppers. You’ll never get near Varsh’s tent.
MRS POTTER Don’t be stupid. They’re looking for Varsh, not a weak, middle-aged woman. One of the few good things about this miserable, backward planet is that I’ve been able to go out at night and no-one has even considered that a woman could be capable of these killings.
TESS You’re sick.
MRS POTTER Watch your mouth - and don’t try warning the police, or I’ll cut the tongue from your mouth.
8.Varsh’s ship. Ext.Stedgewick and Cassidy are still having trouble getting in.
STEDGEWICK I dunno how to open the thing, Cass.
Relieved grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK Don’t be so yellow. He’s been busy, has Varsh. He’s been repairing this thing. There. He’s covered the hole in the outside of it. This panel thing by the door’s how we open it.
Grunt from Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK I dunno how exactly. Must be an order you push the buttons in or something. A code. Except I don’t recognise the lingo.
MRS POTTER Of course you don’t. It’s Guilerian script.
STEDGEWICK Is it, indeed ? And who might you be ?
MRS POTTER Someone who wants inside that ship as much as you do.
TESS She’s the Ripper.
STEDGEWICK (Laughing)Oh yeah ?
TESS I’m telling you. Get the police. She’s the Ripper.
STEDGEWICK From the nut-house, is she ?
MRS POTTER Actually, she’s correct.
STEDGEWICK You’re not joking are you ?MRS POTTER I don’t like jokes. And from all I’ve heard, you’re not likely to fetch the police. They may take an interest in your own criminal activities.
STEDGEWICK I dunno what you’re talking about.
MRS POTTER Yes you do. Abberline and the Doctor know you are responsible for the bank robberies. I offer you a trade.
TESS Don’‘t listen to her. She’s a murderer.
STEDGEWICK So am I, so shut up, girl. Go on.
MRS POTTER You can have this ship and whatever is in it.
STEDGEWICK I like it so far. What do you get ?
MRS POTTER Varsh. He will have to come back here. When he does, I will kill him, then you get the ship.
STEDGEWICK You’re going to fight Varsh ?
MRS POTTER I’m going to kill him.
STEDGEWICK You’ve got a deal. Now this I must see. I could sell tickets for this. Can you prove any of what you’ve said ?
The sound of buttons on a keypad being pressed. The door opens.
MRS POTTER Proof enough ?
STEDGEWICK A pleasure doing business with you. In we go, Cass.
9.Sewer tunnels.The Doctor and Abberline are trudging through the sewer tunnels, their footsteps echoing.
ABBERLINE Are you sure Varsh will be down here, Doctor ?
DOCTOR It’s the way I’d move around London if I didn’t want to be seen.
ABBERLINE Right. And let me get this straight. Varsh is a knight who’s being chased by Mrs Potter who isn’t really a bad-tempered old bag landlady but an assassin from outer space.
DOCTOR In basic terms, yes.
ABBERLINE I’ll say this for you, Doctor. It’s never dull when you’re around.
DOCTOR I’ll try to take that as a compliment.(Thoughtful)This way, I think.
They plod on a few seconds.
DOCTOR Ah ! Here we are. Varsh should be around here somewhere. Probably in the shadows over there watching us now. Hello ? It’s me again.
When Varsh speaks, the Doctor gives a start.
VARSH You are a clever man, Doctor. I am pleased that we are not enemies.
DOCTOR All right. You were in the shadows over here watching us - and please never creep up on me like that again. You nearly frightened me out of a couple of regenerations.
VARSH How did you know I would be here ?
DOCTOR An educated guess. You’re waiting for a chance to get back to your ship ? I didn’t think it was spaceworthy.VARSH It should fly far enough for me to find somewhere quiet to set down and complete my repairs.
DOCTOR I could give you a hand with that. I’m known for being nifty with a spanner.
VARSH This is not your concern, Doctor.
DOCTOR I’m afraid it is. Your friendly assassin has taken a young friend of mine hostage.
VARSH A girl ? In a white nightdress ? Struggling with an older woman.
DOCTOR You’ve seen them.
VARSH They are in my ship now with Stedgewick and Cassidy.
DOCTOR That complicates things.
VARSH No. It makes my task simpler.
DOCTOR You’re going to do something stupid, I can tell.
VARSH I must face my enemy in honourable combat.DOCTOR I knew it. Stupid. Honour indeed ! She doesn’t know the meaning of the word. We’ll have to think of something else.
VARSH There is nothing else ! My honour is all that I am and all that I live for. I will not abandon it now.
Varsh lumbers off.
DOCTOR Idiot. He’s going to get himself killed.
ABBERLINE Stop him, then.
DOCTOR You try it. You’d have more luck trying to stop a charging elephant. The best you can do is clear the area and let them get on with it.
ABBERLINE What’ll you be doing ?
DOCTOR I’ll think of something.
10.Fair.Abberline runs through the mud to George Godley, a policeman.
ABBERLINE George, I’m glad it’s you.GODLEY What is it, guv ?
ABBERLINE Get everybody away from the Fair. Put up a cordon round the perimeter. There’s going to be foreworks so don’t let anybody in - and don’t let anybody from that big caravan-thing leave either.
GODLEY But...
ABBERLINE George, you asked for my help. I’ll giving it you. You were my sergeant for years. Just trust me. I’ll explain later.
GODLEY All right, Fred. Only because it’s you.
ABBERLINE Good lad, George.
11.The Fair.The sounds of people moving quickly - and with a good degree of fear. Varsh moves heavily through the mud.
VARSH Jopar ! Jopar ! I accept your challenge.
12.Varsh’s ship.Varsh’s voice can be heard over the computer’s systems - a bit tinny.VARSH (on computer) JOPAR !
STEDGEWICK Sounds like Varsh would like a word.
TESS He’ll tear you apart.
MRS POTTER You are as feeble-minded as Varsh. I don’t intend to fight him on equal terms.
The obvious click of a gun of some sort.
STEDGEWICK That some kind of gun ?
MRS POTTER Varsh will recognise it - I took it from one of his people - after I’d cut him open.
STEDGEWICK We’ll just wait here, will we ?
MRS POTTER Hold the girl.
STEDGEWICK That’ll be a pleasure.
A loud slap.
TESS Keep your hands to yourself.
The door opens.
MRS POTTER At last. Face to face.
VARSH For the honour of my Order I challenge you to honourable combat.
MRS POTTER Absurd idea.
TESS She’s got a gun.
There’s a scramble. Mrs Potter grunts as Tess breaks free and slams into her. The gun goes off - definitely a laser weapon of some sort - and Varsh yells in pain.
MRS POTTER I told you to hold the girl.
Tess yelps as she is grabbed by Cassidy.
STEDGEWICK Forget her. You only winged Varsh.
Varsh yells - he’s loud and he’s angry.
STEDGEWICK And he’s not best pleased. Shoot him again.
MRS POTTER I dropped the gun. There it is.
A squelch in the mud.
DOCTOR Didn’t your mother ever warn you about playing with guns ? No, I suppose not.
MRS POTTER Move your foot off the gun.
DOCTOR I was hoping to talk to you about my bill. Given that I didn’t actually sleep in my room or take breakfast I was wondering if there was any chance off a discount ? And by the way, no, you can’t have the gun. I don’t like them. Never have.
MRS POTTER Idiot !
DOCTOR No refund then.
Varsh roars loudly and grabs Mrs Potter. They scuffle and fight.
DOCTOR I’ll leave you to get better acquainted with Varsh. You’ve been looking forward to meeting him for a while.The Doctor strides through the mud to Varsh’s ship.
DOCTOR Now I suggest that you two scoundrels come out of there and let the young lady go.
STEDGEWICK Get lost.
DOCTOR The Fair is completely surrounded and the police know you were responsible for the robberies. They’re not going to let you go.
STEDGEWICK They will when they realise Cassidy’ll snap the girl’s neck if they get in my way.
Tess is obviously being choked by an arm across her throat as Stedgewick, Cassidy and Tess emerge from the ship.
DOCTOR Let her go.
STEDGEWICK Not on your life.
DOCTOR How far do you think you’ll get ?
STEDGEWICK I’ve got all the money from the robberies in a money-belt round my waist. I reckon it’ll be enough to see me clear of dear old England and off to a safe new life.DOCTOR At the moment, you’ll only be convicted for robbery. If you harm her, you’ll hang for sure.
STEDGEWICK Only if they catch me.
DOCTOR Interesting that you only ever talk about yourself. Sounds to me like you’re already planning to ditch your colleague there. Doesn’t is sound that way to you, Tess ?
TESS (Choking)Yes.
STEDGEWICK Don’t you listen to him, Cassidy. I’ll see you all right.
DOCTOR He’ll see you on the end of a rope. What’s wrong, Cassidy. Cat got your tongue ?
Cassidy grunts - he obviously doesn’t like bad-taste jokes if they’re at his expense.
DOCTOR Come on, Cassidy. Use your brain, man. You’ll be a liability to him when he’s on the run. All the police have to do is put out a notice to look for two men, one of them a mute. He knows that. So do you.
Cassidy grunts uncertainly.
DOCTOR Of course, neither of you knows that former Inspector Abberline has crept up behind Cassidy while I’ve kept you talking.
STEDGEWICK What ?
Cassidy grunts in surprise - and then yelps in pain as Abberline hits him.
ABBERLINE You all right, Miss ?
TESS Fine, thanks.
She kicks Cassidy then yelps in pain herself.
TESS Rotten swine. Remind me never to kick anybody when I don’t have no shoes on.
DOCTOR Stedgewick’s making a run for it. Are the police in place ?
ABBERLINE He won’t get away.
Stedgewick is running through the mud. He comes to a halt as a copper impedes his way.
COPPER 1 Sorry, sir. You can’t pass here.STEDGEWICK Damn them.
He runs again. His feet squelch in the mud. He stops as a dog barks.
GODLEY Stop there, you.
STEDGEWICK Dammit !
He runs back.
13.The Fair.The fight between Varsh and Mrs Potter is ongoing.
TESS Varsh is fighting with one hand, Doctor. Can’t we help him ?
DOCTOR He’d never live down the dishonour, Tess.
ABBERLINE There’s Stedgewick.
DOCTOR It looks like your chaps are doing a sterling job of keeping him here. Excuse me a moment, would you ?
TESS Doctor ! Where are you...? Is he always this annoying ?ABBERLINE Most of the time.
14.Fun Fair.Stedgewick is running - and he’s getting tired. He stops as a police whistle sounds in front of him.
STEDGEWICK They’re not taking me in. They’re not doing that. Not to me.
He runs again. We hear the grappling of Varsh and Mrs Potter in the background. And then Stedgewick pulls at the metal door of Varsh’s ship and hurries up the steps.
15.Fair.Tess and Abberline have observed Stedgewick run into Varsh’s ship.
TESS He’s gone into Varsh’s ship.
ABBERLINE I know.
TESS But the Doctor went in there.
There a yell from Stedgewick as the door clatters open and he sails out to land in the mud.
DOCTOR We’ll add breaking and entering to your list of crimes, shall we ? And probably the murder of a policeman.
Now we turn concentration to the fight. Varsh is expending a great deal of energy defending himself. Mrs Potter is swishing knifes through the air at him.
MRS POTTER Give up, Varsh. Die with a little dignity. I’ll make it quick. You won’t feel a thing.
VARSH I will give up when I see you dead.
The blades swish again.
MRS POTTER You only have one working arm, I’ve cut you half a dozen times. How can you expect to win ?
VARSH The weak will be protected, the poor fed, the defenceless defended. Righteousness is my shield.
MRS POTTER Your order’s creed won’t protect you.
VARSH No. All that will protect me...
A charge. He rushes at Mrs Potter and she yells as he thumps into her and carries her backwards like she’s a tackle-dummy.
VARSH ...is killing you.
They thump into the metal wall of Varsh’s spaceship. Mrs Potter cries out. She’s had the worst of it. Stedgewick moans.
VARSH Stand up. Face death on your feet.
STEDGEWICK Help me.
A blade is drawn.
MRS POTTER Get back, Varsh. I’m taking your ship. Get back or I’ll open his throat to the bone.
STEDGEWICK No. We had an arrangement.
VARSH He is as worthless as you. Kill him if you wish.
DOCTOR No, Varsh. You can’t dismiss a life so easily. No matter what you think of Stedgewick, he’s still a living being. You don’t have the right to let him die simply because it suits you. Trust me, Varsh. Let them go. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t. On my honour you will.
VARSH On your honour. Very well.MRS POTTER A wise move, Doctor.
DOCTOR As for you, I’d suggest that you both give yourselves up to the police right this minute.
MRS POTTER You’re as naive as Varsh is. I’ll be back for him - with as many of my colleagues as I can muster.
DOCTOR You’ll be sorry.
MRS POTTER Just admit you’ve lost, Doctor. You, into the ship.
STEDGEWICK You’re taking me with you ?
DOCTOR Don’t do it, Stedgewick. Prison will be better than anything she has to offer.
STEDGEWICK I don’t think so, Doctor. From all I’ve seen, there’ll be plenty of opportunities out there for a man of my talents.
DOCTOR On your own head be it.
The door closes.
TESS You’re letting them go ?
DOCTOR I gave them the chance to surrender to the police. And I don’t have the authority to arrest them.
Ship’s engines start up.
VARSH The fool has engaged the main engines.
TESS So ?
VARSH There is a leak in the power unit. Only the maneuvering thrusters can be used safely.
DOCTOR Really ? Is that why the lights on the engine’s control panel were flashing ? They were giving me a headache so I switched them off.
ABBERLINE What does that mean ?
DOCTOR I’d say it means we have around twenty seconds to get away from here before that ship blows up.
TESS What are standing around gossiping for ? Run !
They run.
16.Varsh’s spaceship.There a hum of power.
STEDGEWICK Where are we going ?
MRS POTTER We ? I am not taking you anywhere.
STEDGEWICK You have to. There’s worlds out there waiting for someone like me.
MRS POTTER You wouldn’t survive a minute on any of them.
STEDGEWICK You wouldn’t have survived Varsh without me. You needed me to escape him.
MRS POTTER I did, didn’t I ? But since I’ve escaped him.
The swish of a blade being drawn and swung very quickly. Stedgewick gurgles as his throat is cut.
MRS POTTER I have no more use for you.
Stedgewick hits the deck. Dead.
MRS POTTER Primitive ape.
A warning sounds.
MRS POTTER What ? Computer - what’s happening ?
COMPUTER Engine leak reaching overload. Critical is 5 seconds, 4, 3, 2, 1...
17.Fair.The Doctor, Tess, Abberline and Varsh are running.
VARSH My ship is overloading.
DOCTOR It’s going to explode. Down !
They hit the mud and there is an explosion.
DOCTOR You really should be careful of second hand spaceships. They can be most unreliable.
TESS What if Varsh had won and got in his ship-thing ?DOCTOR He already knew the main engines were off. He’d never have even considered using them. Such a waste that it came to this.
Sounds of them getting to their feet.
VARSH You gave them a chance to surrender, Doctor. And they could not have been allowed to go free.
DOCTOR I suppose not. Fred, I imagine your jolly boys in blue will have quite a bit of trouble explaining all this in a report.
ABBERLINE As much as I’ll have explaining that the stolen money was in Stedgewick’s money belt when he got blown up ?
DOCTOR What ? This money belt ?
ABBERLINE Doctor ! You beauty ! How did you get this ?
DOCTOR I relieved Stedgewick of it before ejecting him from Varsh’s ship.
TESS Don’t get me wrong, Doctor. It’s good and fine to know how you did it, but I’m standing here in my nightie covered head to toe in mud. Is there any chance of going somewhere warm before I freeze to death ?
DOCTOR My dear girl. Forgive me. Take my coat. Here. Let’s pop back to the hotel and put the kettle on, shall we ?
18.The hotel.Tea is being poured.
ABBERLINE Thanks, Miss.
TESS Maybe you should call me, Tess. I owe you for saving me from Cassidy.
ABBERLINE Let’s just say we’re quits now, eh ?
TESS Quits it is. By the way, where’d the Doctor go ?
ABBERLINE Dunno. Said he’d be right back, though.
The Tardis materialisation noise.
TESS My good God almighty.ABBERLINE Not quite.
Tardis door opens and the Doctor emerges with Varsh behind him.
DOCTOR Splendid. Back in my own clothes and just in time for a pot of tea. Humanity’s finest contribution to universal culture.
TESS That box...
DOCTOR I’ll explain later. Crumpets as well, eh ?
ABBERLINE I’ve had a word with Godley, Doctor. The reports will say that Stedgewick was the killer and the bank robber. Varsh won’t be mentioned.
VARSH Thank you.
ABBERLINEMainly because nobody wanted to put in a report that he’s an alien.
TESSWhat about Mrs Potter or whoever she was ?
ABBERLINE George did a bit of digging. The real Mrs Potter was found dead two weeks ago. Your assassin took her place. DOCTOR Poor woman.
ABBERLINE They also found a pile of cash in the safe, which Tess here says is yours, Doctor.
DOCTOR Money ? Dreadful stuff. Causes more trouble than it’s worth.
ABBERLINE It’s gonna cause some more. I told George that you’d bought the hotel.
DOCTOR You did what ?
ABBERLINE The woman had no kin. It was that or see the place sold at auction. I persuaded them to leave the money with you and all.
TESS Congratulations, Doctor. You own a hotel.
DOCTOR Congratulations, Tess. You own a hotel.
TESS What ?
DOCTOR What would I do with a hotel ? I can’t fit it in my pocket and I never stay in one place for more than five minutes. TESS But...
DOCTOR You need somewhere to live. You need something to do. Run this place. You’ll make a success of it I’m sure.
TESS I will at that. Thank you, Doctor.
She kisses the Doctor on his cheek and he harrumphs.
DOCTOR Yes, well. Any chance of that cup of tea before I take Varsh home ? It has been a rather trying couple of days.
TESS Coming right up, Doctor. On the house.